Barriers to communication in a family unit

Many couples fail to communicate the way they should because there are
some factors that hinder the flow of good communication such as fear.
A wife is expected to respect her husband not to fear him Colosians
3:18. Couples can never communicate freely with each other if there is
fear because fear is an enemy.

Another point of barrier to communication in the family is not
listening. Listening is very important, when the other partner is
speaking you should concentrate on what he/she is saying so as to be
able to give a polite  reply or ask questions where you do not
understand.

Failing to listen carefully discourages the other partner from
communicating when the need to communicate arises.

Couples should not be too busy with activities that will take away
their attention from each other because keeping silent for a period of
time can be dangerous.

Communication brings progress and growth in the family like gaining
more social stand and advancement in life. Couples should not make use
of irrelevant words which will hide the true meaning of the message,
take for instance in the family where there is a deaf or dumb person,
if a message that is meant for the family head is wrongly worded it
may lead to misinterpretation by the recipient and consequently brings
serious problems and even loss of contract (monetary aspect).

Hurting one another can stop the flow of communication between
couples. Married partners can hurt each other easily. But you should
try and let your partner know anytime your hurt in a polite way,
waiting for him/her to say sorry might not work or solve the problem
because he/she might not know that what he/she said hurt you. I
advised that you should always go to bed happy with each other.

Hussaini Grace Musa JETS Student


On 11/1/14, Grace Musa <gracehussaini1303@gmail.com> wrote:

CATALYST FOR NATIONAL TRANSFORMATION PART “1” TOPIC: THE ROLE OF THE CHILDREN IN A CHRISTIAN HOME

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”-which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Eph 6:1-3 NIV

The world today is filled with decay of character and moral. The heart of children are turned against their parent on a daily bases, culture and Christian values have lost its place in our families and the society at large.
In some countries the theory of a “liberal upbringing” of children has gained popularity. This theory rejects all constraint and punishment and insists that a child must be left to himself so that he may freely express and develop his individuality. Can a Christian embrace such an approach to upbringing? Hardly, if he accepts what the Bible teaches concerning original sin and the corruption of human nature. Scripture unambiguously teaches that “the thoughts of man’s heart are evil from his youth” (Gen 8:21). Without spiritual guidance a child will learn to pursue only his egotistical interests and to reject any moral obligations. With time his conscience will become completely indifferent to the means of reaching the desired goal.
The question is where are these problems emanating from and how can we stop these menace? I strongly believe that the solution begins from the Christian home or parents because when our homes get it right, the church and the society will definitely get it right because both the church and the society are the extension of the family either Christian home, traditional home,  Islamic, Hindu and etc
Therefore, it is the solemn obligation of parents to give their children the right instruction and correction that belongs to Christian’s upbringing for a better church and society.
From the above scripture, it is clear that The Scriptures have shown that large scale transformation is possible whenever an individual, community or a nation comes to obey God. In fact, it is interesting to note that transformation is already assumed to be the outcome whenever a believer and the community have understood and obeyed the Word of God.
Obedient to God begins with men. When you can obey the people you can see, it will be easy for you to obey the one you cannot see.
Now what is the role of the children in a Christian home that brings about National transformation?
1. Obedient.
Obedient means a total submission to a higher authority. It is trading your will for the will of the higher authority.
It is true that the decay we see today in our society is as a result of the failure of the home to inculcate or plant the seed of obedient in the lives of our children from their early age. For the society to survive this test of time, a child must learn obedient from the family or home he or she is coming from. Remember, no child is too small or old to learn obedient.
Why is the law of the land been violated? Why is lawlessness rampant in our nation Nigeria? When a child learnt and knows how to obey his parents, he or she will not find it difficult to obey civic and any given rules laid on him by the church or society.
THE BLESSEDNESS OF OBEYING OUR PARENTS
Dag Heward-Mills in his book “Fathers and Loyalty” emphasis that, The greatest blessing for sons and daughters is hiding in their obedience to their parents.
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right…”
Obedient always makes you right. It gives you the right footing. It gives you the right character, obedient gives you the right conscience and gives you the right attitude. It places you on the right platform with God. “…for this is right…” The only thing that qualified a child right is an act of obedient. A Christian upbringing aims to give children proper spiritual direction, so that they will be able to withstand temptations and become good and religious people. For this, they should not only learn rules of behavior but also develop integrity and a clear distinction between right and wrong. All these will come to play when the child has an obedient heart.
2. Honour
“…honour thy father and mother…”
Honour means the quality of knowing and doing what is morally right. The Christian parents must help their children to know and do what is morally right from the home and it will flow in the way they relate with the society.
Teach them how to say, good morning, welcome, goodbye, sorry, God bless you, prayer, thank you and etc. Teach them how to respect you and their elderly ones, teach them how to carry out their domestic duties such as: sweeping the room, dressing the room, washing their plate after every meal, how to fetch water, how to cook, when to read and study their books and their Bible, when to sleep and rest etc.
When they grow up with these virtues, it will definitely translate from their lives to the society at a large.
Honour is an extension of obedient. It is an act of obedient that produces honour. When a child obeys, it brings honour to his parent, church, society and on the child himself.
THE BLESSEDNESS OF HONOURING OUR PARENTS
“…Honor your father and mother”-which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Eph.6:2-3
There are rewards for honouring our parents. The child who honour his parents will not only be the beneficiary of the reward because as he or she is rewarded, as they interact with the church and the society, they transfer the blessing to them. The rewards are as follow:
1. It will be well with you.
“…that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Eph.6:3

When the Bible says it will be well with you it means that:
a. It is ok with you all the days of your life
b. What is not working for others will work for you
c. What frighten others will be submissive to you
d. When others are saying there is a cast away for them, you will say there is a lifting up for you
e. You are successful all round
f. You are an over comer
g. You will multiply
h. You will increase beyond your boundary
i. You will bear fruits without ceasing etc
2. You will live Long
“…that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Eph.6:3
When God says you will live long it means:
a. You will overcome diseases that shorten life  

b. You will endure many difficulties
c. You will be prolong in good health
d. Your life will be meaningful
Finally, the sons and daughters who are very obedient to their parents turn out differently from those who are rebellious, independent and resistant. Help yourself, help your parents, help the church, and help the society. Dare to be a cultured child.
by Joel H. Nyam
Click to find out what is Love 

WHAT IS CHRISTIAN PARENTING?

Christian parenting is a conscious process of aiding and supporting the spiritual, physical, emotional, intellectual and social developments of a child from conception through birth to adulthood when the child is considered matured enough to take care of himself/herself.

From the moment a woman takes in, parenting is expected to begin through prayers of proclamation, decrees, and intercession against the interferences of principalities and powers, and all forces of darkness that would be send from the pit of hell by the arc- enemy of man to try to scuttle the ordain plan of God for the conceived soul (Eph 6:12).

 It involves the provision of a clement atmosphere for both spiritual and physical needs of a child. The parents are required to provide the conditions that will allow the child’s mind to develop to its fullest. This is achievable through the provision of an atmosphere of peace, respect to one’s dignity, justice and an environment devoid of fear, threat, and abuse.

Christian parental task goes further to ensuring the provision of school and related learning facilities to ensure the child grows to be not only educated but socially and morally sound as well as creating ethical value systems that will contribute to the child’s faith, cultural and religious principles through the parent living exemplary life style.

 In addition, it is the responsibility of a Christian parents to help protect the psyche of the child through the provision of guaranteed love and acceptance and the provision of emotional supports and encouragement through all forms of expressions of love in words and in action such as “I love you”, hugging, peeking, caressing, giving gifts, and godly kissing. This helps to develop the child’s ability to love, care, and help, not only his siblings, but others by the show of compassion.

Christian parenting entails the unconditional provision of food and all necessities of life needed for the child to grow to maturity in good and robust health at the expense of the parents. Not to be able to make these provisions is against the injunction of the word of God. It is equal to denying the faith ( 1Timothy 5:8).

In every child, there are positive and negative qualities. It is the responsibility of Christian parents to identify these qualities and try to develop the good ones to fruition and to “weed out” or discourage the negative tendencies to near extinction or extinction if possible.

In conclusion, Christian parenting is a huge responsibility. It tests our stamina, nerves, patience, faith in God, and sometimes even our sanity. Just when we think we have gotten the solution, they grow a bid older just to exhibit a different character trait that we just have to go back to the drawing board looking for a solution to it if they must not get off the track of godliness.

 But the good news is that the reward cannot be measured. The fun, the closeness, the lessons learned, and the eventual adorations we receive from them after they “cross over” to the kingdom of responsible men and women in the hands of the Almighty God for His own glory; the peace and satisfaction, the fulfillment and the feeling of accomplishment; and must of all, the commendation and the reward we shall receive from our God when we shall stand before Him to give account, are worth more than all the pains we go through in parenting them.

                                                                    Mamynnah, D. Wambai

                                              e-mail address-  dswambai@gmail.com

Click to find out what is Love 

TEN GUIDING PRINCIPLES TO TRUE FATHER HOOD

You can be a father

You do not have to be perfect to be a perfect father all you need to do is follow the following guideline to the best of your ability.
1. A father is someone who cares for a child
2. A father is a person who trains a child to be a person
3. A father is a person who does his best to provide for his child
4. A father is someone who teaches his child to be discipline by example and instruction
5. A father is someone who teaches his child to honour all authority

6. A father is someone who makes decisions  based on what is best for the child

7. A father is someone who prays for his child and ask God to help him to be a father

8. A father makes decision best on the future of the child

9. A father teaches his child to do unto others what he wish to be done to him

10. A Good father shows a child that he loves him by loving his mother

If you do this you will not just be a father but you will be a real and a good father

By
This is taken from the book Ten Guiding Principle to True Fatherhood Caleb Byat M.A.Theology JETS